Learn and Discuss About Pregnant
Im really wondering if im still pregnant or not. Okay i had the abortion (the surgery) where they vacuum it out and i was only 4 weeks along. After that i had two normal periods… they were more like blood clots coming out due to the surgery abortion. I felt fine during those two periods, I usually get cramps for a week before my period and i get all the symptoms of sore back pain, weak thighs and so on…. and this continues on all until the second day when my period arrives. But this time around my 3rd cycle, i had none of the symptoms whatsoever and it was heavy the first day only and the rest up to about the 11th day it’s been on and off, then it stopped for almost 2 days and now it feels like i have an actual period where it’s not stopping whatsoever, however i’ve yet to experience any symptoms as i usually do EXcept for the fact that I’ve felt a bit bloated. So overall i’ve been bleeding for almost 20 days now. I went to the doctors and they told me that I had a negative pregnancy test and that Im not pregnant. I havent had ANY sexual intercourse whatsoever After i found out i was pregnant.. so it’s been almost 5 months now (before the abortion surgery). I have read in many forums about women being pregnant during their very abnormal periods and feeling bloated. Can that be the case for me?? The doctor just told me to take IBProfen in order to stop my bleeding since it’s been almost 20 days now. It is possible to be still pregnant after the abortion, two normal period cycles, and two negative pregnancy tests?? OTherwise why’s my cycle so abnormal this time around with no symptoms at all during my cycle as i usually have?? Please let me know someone asap! thanks!!
October 4th, 2009 at 4:40 am
No, you can’t be 5 months pregnant and still getting negative tests. You can’t have got pregnant since the surgery since you have had no sexual contact. Ibuprofen is an accepted means of controlling menstrual bleeding, but yours has gone on for so long that can hardly be thought of as menstrual any more. I think you should call the doctor again and ask what else could be the matter. Good luck!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:40 am
If you choose to abort a pregnancy (not you in particular, just women in general) the father has no rights in the decision making process. This is because it is the women’s body and her nine months of carrying the child we are talking about. However, when you are planning (as you are) to bring the child into the world, he now has a large stake in your decision. It is no longer just about you, it’s about you and him and your new baby. A child should never be made an obligation and if this man seems as if he will only breeze in and out of your baby’s life when ever it’s convienient for him (ALL of your baby’s life) than I can certainly understand why you wouldn’t want to risk putting this on your child. Afterall, you yourself broke up with him because you wanted someone more dependable, loyal and responsible to have as a man in your life so why would you want any less for your son or daughter, who would be heartbroken by a father who treated them as he treated you? This being said, a lot of men (and yes, selfish women too) think that a half-assed father is betten than no father and they see no issue in raising a child with an unreliable male in it’s life. You do have a duty to tell this man that you are pregnant but tell him that the only thing your are expecting from him is financial support (which he legally owes you). Since you do not want him in your life anyway, let him know that you expect nothing more from him and you won’t go after him later for anything more than the financial support your child deserves. If he does show interest in wanting to be part of your childs life, you have to lay it on the line NOW, before the birth. You want a good life for your child and you don’t want an irresponsible man as a father for him/her. Children need routine so if you think him seeing your child say, two times a week is a committment you know you couldn’t depend on, than ask him if every other weekend for a day would be great. Your child will be raised expecting only this time so they won’t be set up for a fall. If you just let him show up when he want’s, your kid may go weeks without seeing him, especially if he happens to marry sometime in the future, get preoccupied and then he/she will certainly feel neglected. What ever you decide on, make it legal. If he want’s nothing to do with it, take him to court NOW and have him wave his parental rights. It doesn’t take long to accomplish when it is uncontested and it is the same process basically as what occurs during an adoption, the birth Mother simply waves her parental rights making it impossible for her to take back her child from the adoptive parents. OR, if you agree on an “every other Saturday” arrangement, have that legalized too. Just because he seems agreeable about something now, doesn’t mean he won’t/can’t change his mind later. You said so yourself that he was irresponsible so who knows what could happen. Oh, congratulations on becoming a Mom!